Ana Tampanna

We all need good listeners. My dog is a good listener, but he doesn’t ask questions. I need the questions AND the listening.

Sometimes I get upset especially if I feel as if someone diminished me in some way. I’ve learned to carefully choose who I vent to. The dog is always willing to listen.  But the right people can help me see things from a different perspective. I especially appreciate friends who ask really good questions to make me think.

Here’s a progression of questions from 3 wonderful people who completely turned me around recently:

The first one asked: ” What do you want to achieve?”  (from my angry demands.)

This question got me to settle down and rethink my request.

The second one asked: ” How can you save face for everyone involved?”

This one really shifted  my thinking….I liked where I was being led to go.

And the third one asked: “How can you stand for this person as a magnificent human being?”

This final questions sealed the deal. I was now fiirmly anchored in honoring the person as someone I do enjoy, and respect most of the time. I knew we could work this out, raising his awareness in a kind way. My distress came from my own fearful place regarding my reputation and career. Getting myself out of the way was key.

It is important to have wise listeners who ask thoughtful questions. Equally important, it is important to BE a wise listener who asks questions. My friends not only diffused my angry feelings, they supported me in coming from a loving place. If we all did that, we would have an incredibly peaceful world to live in.