Wes Snyder, Employer Advocate, competes to raise money for The Wounded Warrior Project

by Ana Tampanna  copyright 2012, all rights reserved by Ana Tampanna

“Cause in the Matter.”  Making something happen.  Initiating an action. Leading others to act.

How have you been “cause in the matter” in life?

What exists in your community because of you?

How is the quality of life better because of you?

Who made a decision to further their career because of you?

Who joined an organization, made a donation, completed a project… because of you?

Who is living in a house, eating well…..because of you?

NC Realtor Tammy Watson is building a new facility for an orphanage in Belize.

Who is fulfilling their dreams, creating art, achieving goals…because of you?

Who is safer, wiser, kinder because of you?

Take a tally, make a list. How do you measure up?

It’s not too late. Go ahead, BE “cause in the matter.”

by Ana Tampanna Copyright 2012, full rights reserved by Ana Tampanna

I have a coach who is challenging me to play life at full tilt. It is easy to get comfortable and to play the game of life small. We think we are challenged but not really. What can you notice about how you are playing the game of life?

• Are you sticking your neck out for things you believe in…moving through your fear to speak up and take action?
• Do you carefully manage your time, using your calendar to schedule in time for family, reading, and doing work responsibly and in addition to causing an impact in things that really matter?
• Do you manage your health with good choices and habits?
• Do you support and participate in organizations that address dire issues like global warming, abolishing sex trafficking, and eliminating poverty?
• Do you make a consistent effort to expand your thinking?
• Do you consciously still the chatterbox in your mind that runs non-stop, judging you and others?
• Do you invest in your training and development, a personal growth plan?
• Do you sincerely acknowledge others, and tell your family you love them?
• Do you enroll others in being their most magnificent selves, and invite them to participate in organizations that support other people?
• Do you have someone to hold you accountable? To urge you to stretch when you want to give up, to  play “flat out” in making a difference?

Playing full tilt is about living a life of significance. How are you using your time and energy? Your decisions impact thousands of people, whether you know it or not. Get a coach, get moving!

By Ana Tampanna. All Copyrights reserved by Ana Tampanna.

Refuse to Give Up

It’s hard. You can’t get the support you need. You are running out of time or money. But deep down inside, you know you are doing the right thing. You are on track. How can you build the resolve not to quit?

Sometimes you need a prototype for inspiration, a story about another person, who, against all odds, pulled off an incredible achievement.  Or who died trying. Not that you will die trying, but the inspiration from real life instances can carry you a long way.

Seth Godin wrote a powerful little book called The Dip. It’s all about when to quit and when not to quit.

Movies can offer wonderful images of real life examples that stay in your mind, or can be played over and over on DVD. This weekend I saw two documentary films that demonstrated incredible courage, determination, and resilience. One is “The President’s Island,” about the president of the Maldive Islands who was determined to have Democracy and to save his islands from the rising ocean quickly rising to lap at the very edge of the city due to global warming. The other was “Ethel”, a tribute to Ethel Kennedy made by her filmmaker daughter, Rory.

I feel renewed with resolve. Films such as these make us better people. Ask around…ask your friends for recommendations of books or films that inspire. Visit a film festival. Ask your librarian. Fill your soul and renew your spirit.

What films or books do you recommend for building resolve?

“Inspiration is a competency for leaders,” said my friend, Tomi Bryan, author of “The Five Keys to a Great Life.”

For a  dose of inspiration, visit (or revisit) Steve Jobs’  famous commencement speech for Stanford University. (link at end of this article.)  Steve talked about 3 aspects of life that each of us might ponder to enhance our own self-awareness.

He talked about connecting the dots. Beginning with events before his birth, Steve examined about the life defining moments that become dots connecting him to his destiny. Steve was born to a single mother who gave him up for adoption that he might become a college graduate. What events framed your life before birth? What life challenges did you overcome as a child? Sometimes, that challenge might even be the fact that everything was provided, you had it easy.

The second point in Steve’s speech was to identify the life crisis that later became a positive impetus in life. I  call this the “bad made good.” Steve was fired, at the age of 30, from his own company.  He felt humiliated and embarrassed, apologizing profusely for his actions that brought about his dismissal. Then he changed his perspective, regrouped, and stared Pixar, the company that produced Toy Story (http://cnnmon.ie/HCcFyL.)

All of us make mistakes, experience crises, and even tragedies in life. It is in looking back, however, that we see how life’s down times lead to new decisions, deeper faith, and sometimes opportunities that take us in a positive direction. What has been your “bad made good?”

Steve’s final point was to explore his early brush with death. None of us know when we will die, but we all know that death is inevitable. Steve’s first brush with death made him aware of the legacy he wanted to leave his children, the story that needed to be told. Because of this awareness, we have the biography by Walter Isaaccson and Steve’s wise determination to live his life fully before he died.

What has been your brush with death? How have you been impacted with the possibility of dying? What have you considered as your personal legacy? What do you need to do in life before you die?

Take time to ponder Steve’s inspiring speech for yourself. You might even journal on thee 3 points to reap your own personal wisdom, insight, and perspective.

To experience this famous, inspirational speech, click here:
Steve Jobs Commencement Speech

by Ana Tampanna. Copyright 2012, all rights reserved.

Most busy people have “To Do” lists. Some of us are fanatic about them. We actually write down a task  that wasn’t on the original list just to scratch it off as completed.

But some “To Do” lists are more powerful than others. Here are 4 types of lists that open up space in your life, generate incredible energy, and inspire new opportunities for more satisfying, impactful living.

1.       List everything you tolerate. Then repair, remove, or replace. Maybe you have broken items sitting around, or door hinges that creak, windows that stick, or appliances that are a pain to use. I have a drawer full of broken jewelry, a door frame gnawed by an anxious dog 10 years ago, and a garage full of family mess. You get the idea.

 2. List every way you are out of integrity, then communicate, complete, or comply.  This could include:

•  agreements you have broken,
•  habits of arriving late, canceling at the last minute, not showing up
•  not keeping promises,
•  owing money,
•  paying bills late, etc. etc.

3.       List people who have contributed to you in a meaningful way over the years, then contact them with a sincere acknowledgement. It’s one thing to send out a Christmas card, but you make a truly deep impact with a call or card out of the blue, carrying a profound message of thanks. Look up high school teachers, send a note to a speaker you heard years ago, or write a classmate you weren’t close to but never forgot. Or thank a team player in an organizational project years ago.

4.        List people in your life currently who have positive energy. People who laugh, affirm you, and move forward, accomplishing positive results. Spend time with them regularly. A phone conversation, coffee, or going for a walk together. Just tap in. I have a list of 6 people who make me feel better just hear their voices. I schedule them in each month.

Go  head, try one of these lists. Make it really long, keep it in your daily journal, then each week identify what you will cross off. Be ready for expansion, lightness of being, and a higher sense of living your life  with meaning and purpose.

by Ana Tampanna

Copyright 2012 All rights reserved.

What happens when you are confronted squarely between the eyes?

You react. Right? It’s human nature. There are many kinds of reactions:

• Defensiveness
• Shock
• Stunned
• Anger
• Withdrawal
• Quitting
• Lashing back

Somewhere in your gut, you know the confrontation is deserved, but you fight hard to convince yourself it wasn’t. Or, maybe it wasn’t deserved at all. Maybe it was part of someone else’s agenda. Maybe a little of both!

Here are some questions to ask yourself while processing the confrontation:

• What is this confrontation saying about me?
• What is this confrontation saying about the other person?
• What do I need to pay attention to?
• What can I learn from this?
• How do I need to adapt my behavior?
• How have I impacted others because of my behavior?
• What is lacking for me in this organization/situation?
• Have other people experienced similar confrontations?
• Who can I safely explore my actions with who will not take sides? (counselor, coach?)

Growth is not always easy and fun. Sometimes it hurts to stretch, expand, and grow. It helps to see the discomfort of growth as a usually short, bumpy stretch in the road.

copyright © 2012, by Ana Tampanna. All rights reserved.

When have you reached your edge? A time when you stopped, when going further was absolutely something you didn’t want to do? But, you did it anyway? Or maybe you stopped.

We all have a mountain to climb, or an abyss to cross. There are moments in life when we feel slammed against a wall.

Life is a journey of “reaching the edge” experiences. Sometimes we freeze, and can’t go further. At least we think we can’t. Athletes experience the edge all the time…a physical state of being where they must choose to persevere, to push their bodies harder, to play games in their minds until they finish.

Cancer survivors reach the edge over and over, when the treatment is so debilitating they have to fight with every fiber of their beings to continue. They connect with their inner warriors, and continue past their point of toleration. Giving back is something that empowers them even more, for only they can understand the edge experienced from cancer.

But reaching the edge can occur in other areas of life as well. Taking a stand for something you believe in: standing up for your child with the school system, confronting the boss about not giving you credit, or reporting a coworker who uses bullying tactics.   Taking a stand for anything will bring you to an edge. Confronting your fears about learning a new skill can also bring you to an edge.

When we come to an edge, it’s time to ask questions. “Why am I so scared? What is it that I don’t want to see? Why can’t I go any further than this?”

Spiritual teacher Pema Chodron says that in order to say “yes in life,” you come to your edge, and when everything in you is saying “no,”  feel yourself softening. “This is another opportunity to develop loving kindness for yourself, which results in playfulness….learning to play like a raven in the wind.”

Being around other people who move past their edge is inspiring. Everyone’s edge is a different place. There’s no comparison. When people freeze, it doesn’t mean they are failures. They’ve just reached their edge….for right now. Maybe they are softening to a “yes.” Maybe they need to stay at the edge for a while. Or maybe they need to reach this edge 5 more times.

Where is your edge right now?

by Ana Tampanna

copyright © 2012, by Ana Tampanna. All rights reserved.

We all know that listening is a key skill. Listening to people determines what their needs are, provides you with an avenue to serve others, and generates connections for collaborations and partnerships. Listening results in sales. It also diffuses anger. Most importantly, it is the glue for the relationships you value most in your family.

Most of us need to develop or improve better listening skills. Listening is one of the most important aspects of coaching, and a skill I knew I needed to work on.

Here are some tips to practice for improving your relationships and results.

1. Ask good questions…open ended are best, rather than yes or no questions.

Example: What are your plans for this week?

2. Make eye contact as you listen.
3. Repeat the answer that you heard.

Repeat the answer with an upwards reflection at the end…making your sentence a question. This invites the talker to continue. You can repeat only the last couple of words in a question instead of the entire sentence.

Example: You are going to Cincinnati?

4. Listen for the emotion behind the sentence. Then check that out with the listener. For example: “You  are going to Cincinnati for business? You sound a little worried about that trip.”

The person talking will immediately validate and explain, or correct you and explain. For example, “No, I’m not worried…I just don’t like flying.”

You:  “You don’t like flying?”

The talker: “No, I don’t like the flight delays.”

You. “You don’t like the flight delays. That irritates you.”

The talker: “Yes. I hate to sit around waiting.”

5. Refrain from jumping in with solutions.

At this point, I used to jump in with solutions. How to solve the problem of waiting for flight delays. However, I’ve learned that people can usually solve their own problems, and often MY solutions are not nearly as good as the solutions they come up with themselves. The real art of listening allows the talker to hear themselves, reflecting on their questions.

“You hate to sit around….you like to be doing something.”

Talker: “Yes. I could probably prepare myself better for those waits. Like bring a good book along. Do you know of any?

It’s tempting to jump in. You fare best with  another question. “What kind of reading do you enjoy the most?”

You are on your way to a real connection at this point and your solution will truly be valued.

Honing your listening skills takes practice and patience with yourself. But the rewards are immediate. Start practicing. Now.

Who do want to feel heard?

by Ana Tampanna

copyright © 2012, by Ana Tampanna. All rights reserved.

Resignation: an act of retiring or giving up a position; the acceptance of something undesirable but inevitable.

Is resignation a part of your life? Have you resigned yourself to just surviving? Getting through the day? Are you resigned as a parent, accepting the fact that school doesn’t speak to your child? Are you resigned about your age…feeling helpless about getting to senior years and having nothing much in your bank account? Or maybe you experienced a layoff, or other devastating event that left you drained financially, spiritually, and mentally.

Recently I saw a video of an African elephant who was attacked by a whole pride of lions. They jumped all over him, clawing and biting. One lion was on top of his back, at least  6  were around his sides and backside attacking with their most vicious determination.

Then, you could see it in the elephant’s eyes. He gave up. He lay down to die and be eaten. Just as I began to turn off the video, refusing to watch Mother Nature’s survival of the fittest, something extraordinary happened. The elephant decided not to give in. He got up.

With a new strength the elephant began to run, shaking off the lions until every single one watched the elephant disappear into the bush.

Just like that elephant decided to triumph, you can, too. In the next 3 days, I will share some of the ways that I have shaken off the resignation that was eating my own life. They are powerful tools, concepts, and resources…anyone can access them. The first step is to identify where you have allowed resignation to creep in. Here are some signs:

1. Are you spending hours on facebook or other social media sites?
2. Are you addicted to computer games?
3. Do you watch lots of television?
4. Do you find yourself feeling bored?
5. Do you sleep late for no reason?
6. Do you hear yourself bemoaning the economy, the sad state of affairs in government, schools, or other organizations?
7. Do you blame the president for everything wrong?
8. Do you accept the fact that you are no good at math, being social with people, organization, planning, or speaking in public?
9. Do you blame your lot in life on your parents or spouse?
   Do you eat for something to do?

If you answered yes to 3 or more of these questions, I urge you to take a closer look, and make a decision. REFUSE to give in! Stay tuned…