My brother is a successful consultant who flies to clients to conduct workshops and attend meetings, then flies home for the weekend. It’s a stressful routine.

His favorite pastimes are cooking and eating. He knows  the best restaurants in the cities where his clients are based. At home, he was the master griller, known for grilling goat, pork and beef ribs.

He recently took a vacation to Thailand, where he attended a native cooking school, then returned to prepare authentic dinners for his family and friends. The following year, he and his wife ate their way through Brazil. They were honored guests at a huge feast at a Brazilian ranch, after being treated to a restaurant where the host ordered everything on the menu for them to sample.

Needless to say, my brother developed a weight problem, then was diagnosed with diabetes. Several of his family members, including me, worried about a heart attack in his mid-fifties.

At first, David took medication and succumbed to a life of needle pricks. His blood sugar soared to dangerous levels day to day. Then, he did something drastic. He became a vegan.

Armed with Dr. Neal Barnard’s Program Reversing Diabetes: The Scientifically Proven Program for Reversing Diabetes Without Drugs, David began to explore exotic recipes with marinated tofu, baked tempeh, and seitan. One Sunday, he prepared seitan, made from the gluten in whole wheat flour. (Seitan takes on a meat-like consistency and is high in protein.) Yesterday, he served “meatless beetballs,” delicious with tomato chutney. We filled our plates with quinoa, then piled on a delicious stirfry with ginger, and other pungent spices.

David has been dropping weight like crazy. His blood sugar is fully under control. He looks great and feels great. Although he struggles with restaurants, he has totally embraced the life of a vegan. It is nothing short of inspiring.

As I contemplate my own diet, with carefully counted calories, I think about the high fructose corn syrup found in my 40 calorie-a-slice bread. I am also conscious that my 3 ounces of “fat free turkey” and daily egg substitute come from factory farms, which hold tens of thousands of animals per facility in windowless warehouses throughout the country. These are responsible for more than 18 percent of greenhouse gas emissions worldwide. This vastly outstrips the carbon footprint of the transportation industry. Thirty-seven percent of those gases are derived from methane (which has 23 times the global warming impact of CO2).*

David’s story shows how powerful we can be in creating our lives when we commit to it. If we all committed to eating less meat, we could dramatically impact our entire planet. How have you succumbed to a lifestyle of unhealthy choices? What consequences are you tolerating?

http://www.farmsanctuary.org

As evolving leaders, it’s important to be both self-aware and inspired. Self-awareness comes the more we know how others perceive us, and the clearer we become regarding our strengths and values.

All of us have inner self critics. We set high expectations for ourselves, then become frustrated and impatient when under things don’t work out as we desire.

Here is an exercise that will increase self-awareness, boost morale and ignite inspiration. It is simple to do, only requiring a few minutes.

Identify 5 to 10 people in your past. Email them with a request to complete this sentence:

“When you remember me at my best, you remember the time when……”

The result will generate a treasure for a lifetime.

Who remembers you at your best?

Married. A long time. Hmmmmmm……what does that mean?

Patient. Have to be.

Perfect marriage? NO.

A lot of togetherness? NO.

Romance? Sometimes. If we work at it.

Marriage is, I believe, an opportunity to practice unconditional love over and over and over. Same with kids, only marriage requires more unconditional love for a longer time.

My husband is an unbelievably picky eater. He doesn’t eat vegetables, only fried food or pepperoni pizza every single day.  We don’t have romantic dinners, or even shared mealtimes. He eats ice cream half a gallon at a time, usually in bed. I have learned to over look it, time and again. And it’s still difficult.

Every marriage is different. Family patterns are different. Expectations, resources, rituals and interests…all different. And none of those things are the glue that holds a marriage together.

A marriage is an opportunity to accept someone totally different from you when it’s difficult. A chance to see your faults in another person. To know that what you don’t like in that person is what you don’t like in yourself. And a challenge to focus on the delicious surprises, the precious good, and  priceless intimacy.

My husband is an athlete. He spends hours watching sports and participating in sports. I only watch the Olympics…and never the venues he cares to watch. I’m no athlete, but I can obsess over my business as much as he can over sports.  I’ve been to maybe 6 soccer games, if the kids were playing. I took up bowling so we could share a world together. If I hadn’t, we would never see each other. But the surprise is that not only do I enjoy it, but  the regular participation  in a fun sport contributes to a life balance I never had before even though I’m a regular exerciser.

Marriage is also an opportunity to believe in the other person. To believe in him when he doesn’t believe in himself. And vice versa. I’m so fortunate that my husband believes in me, regardless of what project, dream or business direction.  He is ready to support me regardless of the career path I choose, and he’s adaptable, thank God!

I think values provide the glue in a marriage. And sometimes you have to focus on the values you DO share rather than the values you don’t share. That includes values around faith.

Marriage is also about trust…and how people have different definitions of trust. Some people say that trust is doing what you say you will do, like showing up on time. Others say trust is about keeping confidences, or not saying anything derogatory behind the other’s back. Or being faithful.  So many variations.

What makes your marriage work? If you are not married, what committed relationships in your life require unconditional love…all the time? How are you different because of marriage or a committed relationship?

Just finished this year’s Vision Board and I am excited. The Vision Board represents new ventures, direction, and most importantly, the people in my life who are vital to these possibilities.

When I first began making Vision Boards,I called them Treasure maps,  I pasted pictures of things. They are the easiest to realize after making a Vision Board. Like the time I pasted a camera on my board, then the friend who was hosting my “Vision Board Party” left the room, came back with a new camera which she placed in my lap! Or the photo album I filled in my early thirties, with images of professional women in beautiful clothes…the enormous wardrobe I wanted to accumulate.

Next the Vision Boards of my early forties began to reflect lifestyle values: Girl Scouts, pictures of family vacations, healthy habits I wanted to practice. By my mid- forties, the pictures contained more and more pictures of microphones, even a book I knew I would write. I launched a full-blown speaking career, complete with a book and book tour.

Then came Vision Boards with faces of professional women…followed by a year of speaking engagements to women’s associations. In recent years, pictures of groups and teams began to appear. I knew I was on a leadership track. They were in the context of an organization, however, that had a bit of a disconnect for me.

That’s the beauty of Vision Boards. The images that ring true, are the ones that manifest easily, even though the context might change. For me it was the organizational context.

This year’s Vision Board is completely about people: my new coaching team of incredible coaches and trainers, the small business people I impact at BIZsource, and the corporate clients that my coaching team works with and the  nurses from the medical community whom I find dedicated and inspiring as evolving leaders.

I have logos from key organizations that I am involved with, and pictures of the inspiring leaders who stir my heart, stimulate my mind, and inspire success habits. I have the words “transformation” reflecting my committment to the transformation of myself and my leadership style.

On the back of the vision board, I like to write a prayer: “Thank you God, for this or something better.” I am clear that I want my future not to be just ‘stuff, “ but a future of being led, following my calling or purpose.

Alright, I do have a confession. On the back of this year’s Vision Board, there is a red prius.

Do you ever feel as if you are the only one who messes up?

I have a strong personality. And I mess up all the time. Blurt things out. Say something others think is not appropriate (never dirty jokes, but rather speaking out of turn.) Or maybe I’ll push for progressing forward when others are resisting change.

It happens most when I’m excited about achieving a goal. Or when I’m scared that I won’t. People begin referring to me as forceful. One woman called me a bully. THAT was a shocker! I fight bullying.

In the past, whenever I got criticized, I just shut down. I would beat myself up, and withdraw from a relationship. I’ve done that for years. It’s difficult to break a pattern like that. Can you relate?

Recently, I’ve learned the importance of making amends in a way that creates new possibilities for everyone. In a sincere way,

1. State the offensive behavior to the offended person.
2.  Acknowledge the discomfort caused for them.
3. Apologize.
4.  If appropriate, offer to do something differently right away.

This results in new possibilities. More often than not, a mended relationship is better than the one before. Sometimes the other person says or does something wonderful that is truly surprising!

One thing I am sure of: I want to inspire, not force. I want to encourage, not push. I want to touch, move, and inspire individuals and groups to experience their own magnificence. That means I have to get out of my own way, make amends, and forgive myself.

*Thanks to the coaches who lovingly teach me such tools without judgment, and who take a stand for me when I give up on myself!

I love the way good vision statements inspire people and are capable of causing goosebumps.

Here’s the vision statement for McDonald’s:

“McDonald’s vision is to be the world’s best quick service restaurant experience. Being the best means providing outstanding quality, service, cleanliness, and value, so that we make every customer in every restaurant smile.”

If I were working at McDonald’s that would make me smile a lot!

Disney’s vision is “to make people happy.”

Some vision statements are really long, others really short.

Here’s the vision statement for Tom’s Shoes: “Giving is what fuels us. Giving is our future.”

If you haven’t read the inspiring story of Tom’s shoes and how it created a movement, you can read it here: http://www.toms.com/corporate-info

Jack Welch, the Chairman of General Electric said, “Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion.”

It can take days and even weeks to write a really good vision and mission statement.  Here’s what I have so far:

Ana Tampanna  is creating a world for people as magnificent human beings, that they identify their unique genius, then live and work from that awesome place in themselves.

Now that is a peak performance vision statement!

The client I want to coach, is a leader who is so inspired by his own vision, that he will do anything possible to develop himself or his employees  in order to live that vision.

Just so you know, I also say this statement in the feminine: “…a leader who is so inspired by her own vision, that she will do anything possible to develop herself or her employees in order to live that vision.”

My vision is for  men AND women…I haven’t yet gotten past the cumbersomeness of language “his or her,” etc. If you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them. AND, I would love to know YOUR vision statement!

We all need good listeners. My dog is a good listener, but he doesn’t ask questions. I need the questions AND the listening.

Sometimes I get upset especially if I feel as if someone diminished me in some way. I’ve learned to carefully choose who I vent to. The dog is always willing to listen.  But the right people can help me see things from a different perspective. I especially appreciate friends who ask really good questions to make me think.

Here’s a progression of questions from 3 wonderful people who completely turned me around recently:

The first one asked: ” What do you want to achieve?”  (from my angry demands.)

This question got me to settle down and rethink my request.

The second one asked: ” How can you save face for everyone involved?”

This one really shifted  my thinking….I liked where I was being led to go.

And the third one asked: “How can you stand for this person as a magnificent human being?”

This final questions sealed the deal. I was now fiirmly anchored in honoring the person as someone I do enjoy, and respect most of the time. I knew we could work this out, raising his awareness in a kind way. My distress came from my own fearful place regarding my reputation and career. Getting myself out of the way was key.

It is important to have wise listeners who ask thoughtful questions. Equally important, it is important to BE a wise listener who asks questions. My friends not only diffused my angry feelings, they supported me in coming from a loving place. If we all did that, we would have an incredibly peaceful world to live in.

In my coaching, I look for my client’s genius. It’s an exciting process for both of us. When I find it, and I invariably do, I hold that picture of my client in my mind and thoughts all the time. It’s a matter of taking a stand for the best aspects of a person…believing in their inner power and capability…seeing their dreams come into realization.

I love it when my coach does that for me. When I sound wimpy and full of excuses, he calls me on it.

“How are you being, Ana?” he’ll ask.

Invariably, I’m pitching a story of not having enough time, or money or whatever…and it’s that, just a story. My coach, however, doesn’t buy it. He insists that I shift to my “power place.”

That’s where we all should come from…the inner space of being creative, fully self-expressed, and powerful. It’s in this whole, complete mindset that we can create huge possibilities for fun, excitement, and wellness. We can conceive of organizations, companies, movements, and planetary shifts when we connect with other powerful beings reflecting that same energy.

Have you found your genius?

Adele Casanova looked at us assuredly, her beautiful, pre-maturely white hair a sharp contrast to her black suit. A savvy business woman, she continued, “My life comes out just the way I visualize it. And I learned to do that from sports.”

Sports? We waited for her to explain. I had forgotten that Adele was a competitive speed skier as a young adult. We sat spell-bound as she told us the story of how she found independence skiing the slopes of Sqaw Valley after enrolling in 6 speed skiing camps within 3 years.

“I loved the thrill of hurling myself off a cliff,” she continued, “feeling my adrenaline pumping and the physical rush that went down my arms. I knew that fear could be a good thing. It was addictive. And I discovered that I was very competitive.”

She smiled, remembering. “The visualizations allowed a faster muscle reaction. If I visualized the slopes over and over, my legs automatically knew what to do. I’ve done that with my entire life, ever since. When my husband was dying a long, slow death, I began to visualize what life would be like without him, how I would find a way to live a full, fun life again.”

It must have been hard…for several years Adele and her son cared for Angel, the love of her life. Then came the long period of grieving. It was just recently that Adele sprang to life again, more buoyant than ever, selling her business and launching a new dream.

As we listened to her stories of coffee flavors, creative innovations, and masterful leadership in her business, we sat in awe at this amazing woman. Her industry research, specific strategies, and focus on every detail had truly created an amazing coffee house. What truly inspired us, however, was her firm testimony in using the “inner power of visualization,” and embracing the fear, then move forward. Fast, like the girl on the slopes in Sqaw Valley.

Just one week before she died, we had hugged at a business event.  I didn’t know that was my goodbye, but I’m deeply grateful that I had an opportunity to exchange an affectionate gesture of friendship.

You see, we had had a falling out. A shared business venture didn’t go as we expected. We had sunk our time, money, and energy into an effort that simply didn’t pan out. We were both devastated, and went our separate ways, feeling disgruntled and disappointed.

A year later we reconnected, and forgave each other. It was not a big deal, just a simple acknowledgement of each other’s innocence. No blame, or holding grudges. We both understood that we had done our best, and that the economy was not in our favor.

Our reconciliation and hug right before her death has me searching through my mental files of relationships. Who else do I need to complete with?

Do you have any fragmented friendships in your relationship file?

Is there anyone you need to forgive? Or who you need to ask forgiveness from?

Do you avoid anyone?

Is there a family member you need to acknowledge? Someone hurting from your lack of attention or a last conversation that contained stinging words?

We don’t know when we are leaving this earthly realm. Friends and family members, like Mashelle, often leave suddenly. Completions are important and empowering. I can not express the relief I feel knowing that Mashelle and I were complete with each other.

Most of us have lists of people who are gone that we wish we had acknowledged one last time. If only they knew what an impact they had made in our lives, what a legacy they were leaving for us. Sometimes we don’t realize the greatness of their impact until years later.

You can enjoy the riches from those relationships by writing letters to those people. These  expressions of gratitude, though unmailed, become priceless treasures for your journal, keeping top of mind the values, perspective, and growth nurtured in you by someone else.

Dear Mashelle, Thank you.