Using Peer Coaching for Mutual Success One of the best things I ever did in my life was to ask a wonderful woman if we could be “success partners.” Life was full of challenges for me at the time. I had just moved to a new area and secured a job with a boss I had difficulty communicating with. My self-esteem plummeted. After six months, I decided to start my own business on a shoestring. My children and husband were struggling with their own issues over our big life transition. My success partner and I checked in by telephone each morning, coached each other to stay centered in our strengths and boosted each other’s frame of mind with a specific affirmation for the day. Our relationship included a spiritual aspect, although we did not talk about religion. Both of us overcame difficult challenges and achieved notable success. We remain close to this day even though our lives have drastically changed. The wisdom from our coaching relationship continues to guide me. Here is how you can create an incredible support system for yourself. 1. Identify a woman who is “like minded,” who has a similar attitude and exudes the philosophy that you like and feel drawn to… someone who is on the same wavelength spiritually. 2. Ask her if she will be your success partner, supporting your spirit and thinking through strategies as you set your goals. You will do the same for her. 3. Determine who will make the phone call and at what time. Calls should be made daily, or at least five times a week. 4. During the call: LISTEN to her feelings of the moment, TELL her what you heard and ASK what she needs inside for her challenges of the day (this is like a prayer need). For example, she might say, “I am feeling overwhelmed. I need reassurance that I’ll get everything done.” 5. Offer a prayer OR an affirmation. For example, if she’s feeling overwhelmed, you might say, “I see you calm and centered, guided to do what you know is most important.” 6. Take YOUR turn. Share your feeling of the moment and challenging need for the day. Be brief. You don’t need to offer long stories and details. 7. Remember that this conversation is confidential and sacred. Keep it as a commitment and stay on a high plane when you are the listener. Avoid the temptation to solve her problems, to judge others she might be in conflict with, or to get involved in her story. Your job is to remain objective, give caring feedback, and help her focus on her inner need to solve her own problems. Honor her boundaries and set yours as well: this is not true confessions. You also have private lives. 8. At some point, be sure to share goals, dreams, and the big picture. Your job is to constantly see your partner as capable of both achieving her goals and reaching her highest potential. Be her CONSTANT reminder that she can do it, and acknowledge her achievements, however small, along the way. 9. Be willing to call even when you feel down. Be careful not to use this relationship for chronic complaining, although from time to time you can ask permission for a one minute “dump” session and list your disappointments and gripes with the understanding that she is only listening and not “handling your stuff.” She can suggest resources. 10. Keep your partner in your thoughts daily and visualize her success. 11. Be brief with your calls; ask permission for longer conversations when necessary and establish a ground rule that you will each be up front with time demands. Always acknowledge each other for being there and release any other expectations. E-mail encouragement. 12. Celebrate often. Praise her achievements. Relish the fact that you are part of her success energy and she is part of yours. Remember your “Oscar” speech. 13. Extra: At some point you might want to schedule a “strategic planning day.” During this time together, you can: · share goals, action plans; · suggest resources for each other; · write your personal mission statements; · brainstorm marketing ideas; · swap time management secrets; · trade useful information or processes for life balance; · loan each other books and tapes. Always promote your partner in a positive light. Remember that your ability to support her greatness is reflective of your own.