It’s difficult to vacation. Especially when one is a woman and the vacation requires that she leave her children, husband or partner, pets, and all the people who depend on her.

When that woman commits to spending time and money on herself for her emotional and spiritual well-being then relinquishes the cooking and cleaning, the job with the to-do lists, the telephone and bills and the busy-ness of life …well, it’s a leap that very few women give themselves the luxury to take. 

Yet 12 amazing women did just that even when the challenge grew: national disasters a few months before created an opportunity to  shrink under a cover of guilt,  a feeling so familiar to women that it took courage not to succumb. Then the real test: a hurricane threatened the homes and demolished the yards of half the group. An elderly mother died, an envious husband left for Las Vegas in a huff, and the work environment of one woman dealt with tragedy and terror.  Still others bid farewell to their own businesses, knowing their income would suffer in their absence.

The bonding began before the departure date. Women in North Carolina wrote to their travel companions in Florida, whom none of them knew, and extended their sympathy and encouragement. As the victims of Hurricane Wilma picked up debris and stood in line for fresh water, they read the letters. It  felt comforting that someone cared whether about their loss of  electricity, phone service, and running water.  Even a sense of humor  surfaced.

“I can’t wait to get on that cruise ship and take a hot shower!” exclaimed one woman. “I’m keeping my tickets in the one safe place in our house…the dryer!”

The trip was the first of its kind for me to organize as a women’s life skills coach. Encouraged by my close friend, Shary, herself a “cruise queen,”  I cautiously  selected a cruise ship to the Bahamas. The travel agent assured me that I would be able to find space aboard the ship for group processes, morning yoga, and our own fun time. We reserved tables together for dining as well.

 I envisioned fifty women at the beginning of this venture, not understanding fully the difficulty of marketing a “cruise retreat” to women. Women just don’t travel in groups where they don’t know anyone. All but one had a friend going on the trip, and for some, the friend was me. 

“This was a BIG risk for me to take,” explained one woman. “I’m not very independent, and the thought of leaving my husband to travel with strangers was frightening.”  I listened carefully, appreciating more fully how these women had truly left their comfort zones.

Dinner on a cruise ship is fun. Beautiful presentations of four course meals  and servers who try hard to please make the experience special. I divided the group so that women would have the opportunity to sit with women they didn’t know. I encouraged friends not to sit together. To jumpstart the conversations and new friendships, I offered an activity.

 “In the middle of each table is a list of unusual life experiences. Find one that you have lived and share with your table.”

The women were off and running. Laughter emitted from both tables as the stories continued. One group passed a new list of prompts to me. “We made our own list!” they said proudly.  I smiled, recognizing the teambuilding dynamics taking root in the group.

Throughout the rest of the cruise, the stories continued, like ribbons weaving in and out of our days amongst my structured exercises and the unstructured time on the beach, or on the cruise ship. The stories were about loss, love, terror, adventure, abuse, and good fortune. They took place in foreign countries, college dorms, and back yards. The stories introduced us to burglars, parents, past lovers, and step children.  They continued into the night in quiet cocktail lounges or in private staterooms. They began again during sunrise walks on Deck number 6 and continued in Jacuzzis and at breakfast tables.

Women’s stories heal, entertain, inspire, and inform. Women process their lives in their stories. They connect, empathize, affirm, and even leave goose bumps. Most of all, women find their wisdom in their stories, reflecting on the past with their insights of the present.

Not all our time was spent telling stories. Mary  taught us some tough self defense moves if we ever discover a man on top of us in the middle of the night. Victoria sang to us and read her feminist nursery rhymes, and I led the group in some improvisational comedy exercises that left us all in an uproar.

We also Treasure Mapped our dreams and desires...choosing health, more exotic vacations, and contemplating career moves. One woman is dreaming up a Vietnamese Foundation while another wants to work with orphans in Thailand. Still another is a instructor with Dale Carnegie.

No one wanted the magical trip to end. We defnitely felt richer as we deboarded...with a greater sense of our value, our direction, and our ability to experience sisterhood with each other.